A two-fer...

If you're looking for a short diversion from whatever it is you should be doing, I suggest reading these two little McSweeney's articles.

The first, which is quite apropos to me in light of the fact that I just had to give a speech this weekend, cotains four bawdy best-man speeches given by the actual best man on Earth at the time. The Jesus Christ speech is definately my favorite, although Gur's is pretty fantastic too.

The second article is a letter to one Mr. Axl Rose, complaining about Mr. Rose's apparently less-than-satisfactory jungle safari tour. Good stuff.